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Broken Trust: Stories of Pain, Hope, and Healing from Clerical Abuse Survivors and Abusers, by Patrick Fleming Sue Lauber-Fleming
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From Publishers Weekly
If there is any light to be found in the darkness of the Catholic clerical sexual abuse scandal, these authors point the way toward it by letting five recovering abusers tell their stories. Fleming and Lauber-Fleming, both psychotherapists, and Matousek, a chemical dependency counselor, say the abusers with whom they have worked professionally all have suffered some kind of trauma, often sexual abuse, that in turn affected their behavior as priests. These stories need to be told, the authors say, in the interest of breaking the cycle of abuse. Abusers whose stories appear in the book had to meet strict criteria, including taking full responsibility for their behavior. The book also includes narratives from three victims, one of whom is Lauber-Fleming, and makes a strong case that priests who abuse are sick, much like alcoholics. The authors insist that such priests can be helped, and they present a proposal for church-sponsored healing dialogues between victim and abuser as well as a model of residential recovery based on a facility directed by Matousek. Readers who are open to hearing the voices of abusers will find a very human portrayal, but one that also offers sound solutions. (Apr. 28) Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
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From the Publisher
Tales of anguish straight from the news headlines - that is the thrust of Broken Trust. Here are the stories of the priest abusers in their own words - words of anger, repentance, and even self-delusion. Here are the stories of the abuse survivors, laden with pain and trauma. What brought the respected clergy to abuse boys and girls, men and women in their trust? Is there hope for hope for healing? This book explores the devastation and fears of the survivors, and the tragic mistakes by the Catholic hierarchy. The counselors offer their own expert perspectives on the stories, with one perspective particularly meaningful: one of the counselors herself survived clerical sexual abuse.
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Product details
Hardcover: 240 pages
Publisher: The Crossroad Publishing Company (May 1, 2007)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0824524101
ISBN-13: 978-0824524104
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.8 x 9.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
3.6 out of 5 stars
5 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#1,729,124 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
The book is just what I wanted. It arrived with some of the pages bent at the top. Possibly something hit them and caused this. It prevented me from giving it 5 stars. I am in the process of reading it now. The price was excellent and everyone should check out Amazon.com before buying anywhere else first!FP
This is a bad book, a very bad book. It is not so much the Hallmark card prose of the authors (which perfectly suits the shallow moral and spiritual attitudes of the authors), as both the stated and the hidden purpose of the book, that makes the book pernicious.The therapist-authors have abusers and victims tell their stories. We are invited to feel sympathy for the wounded humanity of the abusers, who suffer from pedophilia and young-woman-a-philia and blue-eyed-blond-hair-young-man-a-philia. That is, the priests like to have sex with people that they shouldn't have sex with. The abusers suffer from "sex addiction," that is, they really like having sex (who doesn't?).The stated purpose of the book is to get everyone beyond anger so that abusers and victims can meet and reconcile. The therapist-authors admit that some money must be paid (for therapy of course), but there is no mention of paying damages for lost income, disrupted family relationships, and general pain and suffering. This approach saves the bishops money. It also saves them having to open their files to a jury or to the public, since donations might drop or some bishops might have to go to jail if the full truth were known. As Timothy Lytton's new book, "Holding Bishops Accountable: How Lawsuits Helped the Catholic Church Confront Clergy Sexual Abuse," only the tort system brought about reform in the Church.The abusers are after all "wounded healers" (Henri Nouwen has a lot to answer for), and why can't they be returned to ministry once they are "cured"? The priests in this book are also whiners. What they did would have gotten them burned at the stake in the past; they whine about not being able to say mass publicly. The abusers may have had traumas (such as being chosen last for team sports), but no one has had a perfect life, and our problems do not excuse our crimes.The authors were sloppy to the point of incompetence or perhaps just decided to misrepresent facts that didn't fit their purposes. The book has a 2007 copyright date. The authors estimate that "approximately one to three thousand priests in the United States have abused." But the John Jay Report, commissioned by the bishops, was published in February 2004; it counted 4,392 priest abusers, and hundreds more have been added since then.Bishop Gettlelfinger wrote the Preface. This is how Gettelfinger handled victims (from my forthcoming book):"David Prunty, a high school sophomore, was in a psychiatric hospital when the Rev. Michael Allen came to visit him. They struck up a friendship, which progressed to sex. Prunty had lost a father, and Allen filled that gap - and more: "He was a needed presence in my life and I came to almost idolize the man," The relationship tapered off after Prunty entered the seminary. Prunty wrote to Evansville bishop Francis Shea, who did not respond. Later he wrote to the new bishop Gerald A. Gettelfinger, who arranged a meeting between Prunty and the vicar-general, but they did not resolve the situation. Through an attorney Prunty then demanded $150,000 damages. The diocese claimed that Prunty had not suffered any harm because of his relationship with Allen: Prunty was already damaged goods when Allen started using him. The attorney for the Evansville diocese, David V. Miller, wrote "Prunty had already been having `psychological and emotional struggles' before he met Allen at the age of 15, citing the death of his father, a family history of depression and Prunty's ongoing confusion about his sexual identity." Miller also wrote that the diocese would offer a "vigorous defense." "Moreover, David should be aware that if that defense is successful, he will then be in harm's way, again by his own conduct, because he will have maliciously ended the career of a very fine man" - a fine man who preys upon depressed teenagers. Prunty was intimidated by the "in harm's way." This Mafia-like threat dissuaded him from going public for several more years. In April 2002 Gettelfinger again tried to keep Prunty silent, but Prunty went to the press."The blurbs for Broken Trust come from the Franciscan priest, Richard Rohr, who gives nude retreats, and from Bishop John Gaydos, who writes of his "wounded brothers) i.e., child-rapists. Of Gaydos the Dallas Morning News reported:"He was one of the bishops who remained silent in 1999 as Anthony O'Connell was promoted from bishop of the Knoxville, Tenn., Diocese to the much larger one in Palm Beach, Fla. The Diocese of Jefferson City had paid a $125,000 out-of-court settlement in 1996 to a seminarian who Bishop O'Connell abused during the 1970s. Bishop Gaydos also let the Rev. Manus Daly stay on duty until this spring, even though the diocese was told in 1996 that he had also abused Bishop O'Connell's victim. Bishop O'Connell - who took over in Florida for another admitted molester, Bishop J. Keith Symons - has resigned. The Jefferson City Diocese's failure to speak up about Bishop O'Connell was "a travesty," said Bishop Wilton Gregory, president of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. Bishop Gaydos recently closed the Missouri seminary where Bishop O'Connell and Father Daly abused the student. He also suspended another priest, the Rev. Don Wallace, whom he'd kept on the job since four altar boys complained in 1997 about inappropriate touching. Bishop Gaydos serves on the abuse committee of the bishops conference."Ronald Rolheiser, an Oblate priest, also finds the book "helpful," because he wants to get beyond the legal approach to the "Biblical" approach. In a talk he said "Biblically, you admit guilt, are declared innocent, and there is no punishment."What the abusers, the bishops who tolerated them, and the therapists who try to excuse them all need is a salutary fear of hell. Despite their blather in this book, the abusers and therapists and bishops have no real concept of the irreparable harm that the abuse has done, and they have not a clue as to what repentance entails: acknowledging the full truth and accepting the just punishment for the crime. Otherwise they may expect, not simply bad reviews, but the worm that dieth not, and the fire that is not quenched.
Broken Trust provides deep insight into the reasons why clergy become perpetrators of abuse. We can blame and create villains out of these men who abuse. We can call for them to be defrocked and jailed but the real stories of their own abuse and pain as children leads us to a place of at least beginning to understand why they then abuse others. I am a survivor of abuse and it has taken me years to heal. In order to stop the abuse we have to know why it began in the first place. Broken Trust tells the stories of five priests who have abused and three survivors of abuse. Their stories are tragic, their abuse seems unforgiveable and yet we see how they can overcome and heal those hurts, seek forgiveness and make amends.The three survivors of abuse by priests speak boldly of how they healed the pain from sexual abuse and have transformed their pain instead of transmitting it to others. As a Christian I find Broken Trust to be a clear voice in helping all of us understand the sex abuse crisis in the Catholic Church. This issue is huge for the Catholic Church and all denominations. Until they can seriously look at these issues apart from trying to protect Holy Mother Church, they will not get it. The newest allegations of abuse in Ireland, Germany and the Netherlands will perhaps draw their attention. I encourage everyone to read Broken Trust to read about the real stories of real people dealing with real abuse.
Broken Trust is a u-turn in the plethora of literature spawned by the multitude of clergy abuse cases published in recent years. The glaring magnified light under which these eight cases are exposed reveals poignant details, indeed the very humanity under which the abuse occurs. This is not an emotional revelation meant to capture sympathy. reveal salacious detais or glean accolades of any kind.Contrarily, it exposes the humanness, the sorrow, the life-changing forces that created the situation and the gut-wrenching depths to which an individual much reach to reclaim his or her life.The first five cases are written by Catholic priests who have sexually abused minors. The personal narratives strike a chord with the reader that reveals an honest humility and the struggle to change one's life. The touching quality of each story resonates with an honesty, an openness, and a desperate day-to-day struggle to grow spiritually while facing the devastation caused by their behavior. The book does not purport to see them in any other light than souls who are committed to working diligently, with guidance and supervision, to become redeemed.The last three stories are those of victims. Again, the purpose is not to castigate the perpetrators, but to show that life does not end, nor does it have to be permanently crippled the by abuse. Quite the contrary, through counseling, prayer and the tenacity of the human spirit, these three former victims have become strong, productive, spiritual energies who have created positive changes not only for themselves but in the work they care called to do. The abuse they suffered no long shackles them but indeed has created roots from which new life has emerged.Broken Trust can re-formulate in the mind a different framework or lens through which to view this crisis in the Catholic Church. It certainly does not condone the actions of the perpetrators but opens a vista where one can see both sides of the picture with new eyes.Every Catholic who has been aware of the abuse crisis in the Church within the last twenty years as revealed primarily in the media would benefit from this book. It may well be the only book that challenges us to understand the woundedness on both sides of the issue. The authors, Patrick Fleming, Sue Lauber-Fleming and Mark Matousek make a profound statement to the church that, "The new story needs to include the victims' voices and minister to their needs. It needs also to incorporate the story of the priest abusers and their own history of being abused and vicimiszed, allowing greater ministry to their needs as well. It needs to include a re-humanizing dialogue between victims, victim-abusers and Church leaders. It requires accountabiliy and forgiveness, truth, and reconciliation. Most of all, it must provide hope for healing for all parties and transformation of their common suffering into new life and purpose. what Jesus achieved in his narrative, the story of the gospel."
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